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Need, Want, Will.

by Wolfjay

/
1.
2.
And all I wanna see, Is you next to me, Is you next to me, Is you next to me. TikTok on my phone and it’s 2am, TikTok I’m alone in my room again, Chest tight need a night without dreaming, Chest tight and I feel like I’m screaming. Can we go somewhere there’s no mirrors, No I’ve never been any good at this, I’m scared of the silent sadness, There must be something better than us. Underestimate, How long I can wait, And would it be alright, If I could see you tonight? And all I wanna see, Is you next to me, Is you next to me, Is you next to me. Swipe swipe, Lipstick on my t-shirt, swipe swipe, I’m so lonely it hurts. Nicotine on my screen, doesn’t get worse, Hope your mum’s safe, I know she’s a nurse. I think about you every day, Nothing to say, Not like it’s better this way, And I hope I don’t ruin the mood, throw off the groove, I just don’t know what to do. Oh one more iced coffee, and I think we’ll be fine, One more iced coffee, that’ll keep us up all night.
3.
I’m standing on the window sill, Not sure if I’m awake, I don’t know if I’m dreaming,
 But I’m gonna take the leap. Reached out and tried to touch you,
 But you’re only halfway here ,
I’m not the kind to think that I’m worth saving,
 More likely to self destruct. Blame it all on me again, Blame it on the things I said, 
I’m just trying to make some sense,
 I’m just trying to do my best. I’m standing in front of your house again, 
Too anxious to ring the bell, 
Trying to get a hold of things,
 And stop dreaming of these, 
Imaginary hells. I’m standing on the window sill, Not sure if I’m awake, I don’t know if I’m dreaming,
 But I’m gonna take the leap. Blame it all on me again, Blame it on the things I said, 
I’m just trying to make some sense,
 I’m just trying to do my best. Your parting words flow through my veins, That you can’t wait for me,
 Now the only company I keep’s, 
Involuntary shakes.
4.
Posthistory, Philosophy, Art and music and tv, If this is real and not just a dream, Is it over or just overwhelming me? Caretaker, Take care of me, If progress can really be achieved, If peace isn't just a place behind a screen. Sometimes I go, Sometimes I stay, Sometimes I think about the times, That I felt better in my dreams, Take me back to when I was 13. Bring in the threes, I'll never know, Is this even moving forward, In a direction I know, Which direction I want to go on, And on, And on, And on, And on.
5.
And I'm sick of waiting, It's debilitating, When the features in your face don't match your heart. Say you won't (go on), Say you won't (go on), Say you won't (go on), Say you won't (go on).

about

A wolfjay live performance project.
Recorded on the 14th of April, 2023 on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation.
Written, produced, performed, and 
edited by Jackie.
Live projection by bright garbage.

Please note — this is a live recorded project and the audio isn't perfect. Thank you for your support in helping make wolfjay a sustainable project ✨

Video available on YouTube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgElM9yASMM

credits

released July 20, 2023

Written, produced, performed, and edited by Jackie
Live projection by bright garbage (@bright_garbage)
Filmed by Gertie May
Photography by Dave McCarthy

You Next To Me written by Jackie and Heather Riley
Say You Won't (Go On) written by Jackie and Jasper Leak

Special thanks to Ayda Akbal, Suzi Taylor, Deanndra John, Ryan Sahb, Gertie May, and Heather Riley

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Wolfjay Melbourne, Australia

like hugging your best friend at a house party.

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